Wednesday, June 27, 2007
the colours of the rainbows gone
now my sky,has turned to grey
all i have are yesterday
when all was good and well
regret now drowns my weary soul
im nothing but a shell
ive lost the spark tt lit my life
ive lost the tune ive hummed
is this a nightmare that haunts my dreams
or is this reality ?
my heart cries out
with all its soul
for the dream that had to end
dear lord its me again
alone and so afriad
i know its late ,but there are many qns with no ans
i look ahead and see
a future thats so grim
a life that just goes on and doesnt ever have an ending
i used to think ull always be here
i used to think uve come for us somedae
but its been so long since uve been gone
theres nothing i can hold on
are u there lord
do u care
can u ans my prayer
abba father can u hear me
tell me how to believe
cause why does it seem
that its just an empty dream
for i need to know
that youre still here
for me
lord are u just an illusion
somethimes im lost in this confusion
hear our cries
see our pain
hear our prayers
once again
i realli need u now
in my loneliness,u are there,to reveal ur rightousness in my despair ,thks for sending me someone that i cld talk to todae lord..i am weak but u are strong ...dear lord im tired ,hide me in the shadow of your wings
rainbow;
5:52 AM
Thursday, June 21, 2007
wails* hear the cries of the 18 yr old baby who refuses to grow up and face the world -tts the long term thing ......i totally admire those innocent looking micro-sized human beings being wheeled arnd in their caravan like moving cots ! pure bliss ...they stare and drool at u while u do likewise back at them ....its like pure sweet love
for the short term -she refuses to believe that her holis are abt to disappear in a flash ! oh man i cant believe how fast the world has moved ......one mth passed so fast ~i cant believe nats is in 2 weeks but sometimes i wish nats was tml eeeeeeerrrr i dun know what i want .
but what i know is tt .............i dun want to be slavedriven by the bks ,wks,notes and whatevernots ...its just too overwhelming !im so glad i hav cui to study with ! and she totally doesnt mind my auntiness!
any waes my buddy(birdy thia!) just sent me a prayer !i shall place it here for ppl who want to pray the same prayer and for me to remind my self of the importance of studying hard
back from church camp! I purpose to love You more. says:
Father i pray that you put within her the discipline and motivation to study so that she may give
You the greatest glory. Help her to do her best,
as if working for You. Remove every distraction from her and enable her to focus onj whatever she has on hand like her competition and her prelims. Lord, we bless Your name and we know that You will withhold nothing good from those whose walk is
back from church camp! I purpose to love You more. says:
blameless. So we trust You to deliver mingxiu from any fatigue in studying. Protect her physical and mental being also from the evil one. Thank You Lord. In Jesus' name we pray, amen!"
i shall gleem !
i loved the little outing todae=) ,it made my slightly mundane dae tt much brighter .david had a craving for fried mars bars so he dragged us(carol ,me,merilyn ) to the v.japanese central to satisfy his hunger pangs ahhh yes he was pimpin...we went to this jap store to check out all the jap sweets and cakes .....they ahv potato ,corn and milk candy haha its realli quite out of this world ...we were all fasinated .clarke q mrt station is rather out of the odinary i love the floors tt look like the streets and the chairs tt look like a round table for ppl to gather and hav family dinners...hokays i shall logg off now and leave a rather abrupt ending
rainbow;
5:33 AM
Monday, June 11, 2007
gosh its so late now ,and to think tt i badly wanan meet up with jo,clovis and xw tml at 9 am =) i dun know if ill get knocked out soon ...i hope so thou if nort i shall be evil and make them wait till im fully awake ..tsk
aniwaes todaes study session with cui FAILEd due to our lack of any motivation to study .gosh .in the end we just chatted and windowshopped .i was so saddddded(i know this word doesnt exist ,but i feel it tuly brings out what i feel ......ahhh WOrds ) but i ws happy to be free frm the invisible chains of the invisible study ghost who haunts me to study .
plus to add to my sorrows ,the sun and the wind worked together to create this obstacle that prevents the jumpers frm jumping ....our run ups were super haywired cause there was this mixture of head wind ,tailwind and side winds tt made us terribly confused creatures ....
aniwaes i just realised tt sheeps dun hav minds of their own and hav no sense of direction and tts why they need a sheperd over them .i still rem cui telling me abt the herd mentality tt is evident in the behaviour of sheeps ,when 1 sheep falls jumps down the cliff,the whole pack follows suit .......u noe when the bible says tt we are the sheep and gods our sheperd it makes me think of how foolish we humans are...mabey being called a sheep is a degretory term....aniwaes im glad tt god is my sheperd ,every time i choose to take control of my life ,i always seem to go the wrong way ,now i just wanna follow his commands and live out the destiny he has for me ....if he doesnt want me to be in a relationship with a non christian so be it , if he wants me to to be in a certain job in the future so be it ,i just know tt im safe in gods plans .sometimes i just dun understand ?i mean i still dun understand ,but im sure he has a beautiful plan .it is so so hard to go against what u truly wanna do ,without being restricted .buts in him i trust
rainbow;
9:32 AM
Sunday, June 10, 2007
this holis has been ..............TIRING !!!!
but rather rewarding
ive been stuck STUCK with some crazy ppl in track (lIke kho ziyi ,who comes up ping and pong jokes-actually sometimes i wonder if im just laughing at ziyi for being ziyi or is her jokes realli tt furnie ?cause i find tt im the only one laughing ?=)
hmm nort to mention lihyuan who finds the need to bathe 3 times more than an average person
...the fairfield PRImary jumpers are a wild bunch ahhhhh they invade our pitt ,they are a super accident prone grp of ppl who long jump on top of one another ,they destroy the pit tt we maintain every week by moving the sand to build sandcastles,they are being lead by their shorter than the girls his age vice head prefect who is by no means any better than the above mentioned characteristics...actually they are rather adorable (it is a rather subjective word i realised) ...tsk ive upgarded frm being their aunty no.1 to ahmah .by the way they affectionately call ziyi .... aunty no.2 (dunch u think ahmah sounds much better than errr haha aunty?)... at least they add tt bit of fun to our training
hmm i realli wanna spend some time with my classmates but they hav been so bz with their performances =( aniwaes im gonna call cui later to see if she wanna study ...btw can someone PLS SCREAM AT ME TO STUDY ! i hav been a lazy piggy ,realli slow to pick up the pen and then i end up doodling like on my v.precious supply of rough paper gasp !!!!!!
i camped at grannies the whole week =) again STUCK with the little imps(joshua,andrea,audrey and judith) ...... this is where the fatique sets in ...children or rather brats nv seem to get tired of playing the same repetitive games like hide and seek for 5 consecutive daes ....i just try to be enthusiastic abt finding them in the same places ..surprise suprise ...worse still ....they dun allow me to take breaks...so mean hor ,andrea cries when i stop playing with her ! she cries like haha hmmm at least 10 times a dae !plus she kicks me in bed in the wee hrs of the morn ,sometimes i find her feet so close to my face !i mean hmm tt wasnt a v.friendly gesture haha .my granny rocks i wonder how she lives with my little cousins who constantly need love and attention .u noe how ive always wanted to tell my ah mah how much she means to me ...thankfully ! i managed to sit those kids down and make a card as a token of appreciation for our ahmah together with them =) being typical singaporean who is inapt in expressing our love we tried our best to sabo each other to get the other party to hand the card to ah mah and tell her all the mushy stuff...lols.....buts i had fun with those brats plus i picked up a thing or two abt handling kids =) aniwaes moral of the story is ....dun get married out of the wedlock ...imagine having to study and having a child crying 24hrs for ur attention !ahhh rittes ull cry louder than the child
i feel so wasteful aft living @ahmahs plc... i nv ever had to use dirty clothes water(dirty clothes water) to flush the toilet bowl at my own hus . i tried to hunt for dirty water in my hus butts alas to no avil..i realised tt we use the washing machine..so sry no dirty rather stinky water
rainbow;
6:28 AM
